Shame on you

I watch him from across the restaurant fidgeting in his chair. His earlier entry and subsequent phone call got my attention. “I’m here” was all he said and then hung up, sat down and impatiently waited. I don’t know why he intrigued me so but I couldn't help but watch him. Every few seconds he would stretch up and peer out to the parking lot from his seat. I guessed him to be about 70 or so. Bent from age and haggard from years of hard work, his khaki shirt was as stained as the dickey’s he now squirmed in.

I wondered what his story was. Who was he waiting for that could possibly have him so worked up? He seemed to me to be a no nonsense kind of guy. The kind of hard core ranch owner who shoots first and asks questions later.  He was the kind of guy that nothing could fluster, until now.

There was no question when his party arrived. His demeanor changed completely when she pulled in. Leaving 20 years and a glass of iced tea behind, this decrepit old man leapt from his chair like a pouncing lion and practically sprinted across the restaurant. The stern look he carried disappeared and his gruffness vacated as he stood straight and held the door for his company.

She looked to be about 30 years old or so with a nice enough face. Her killer body filled out the blue jeans and tank top nicely. Very deceiving considering the 3 little ones she had in tow. “Good for her” I said quietly to myself.

Chivalry abounded as he pulled out her chair and fetched a booster seat for the littlest of the three kiddos. He coo-chee-cooed the baby as she put her in the chair and ruffled the little 4 year old boys hair all while giving financial advice to the eldest. He had given him 50 cents on the way to the table and was advising him on how to save. “Look after your pennies son and your dollars will look after themselves” He quoted the familiar quote I had heard from my own Grandma many years ago.

I couldn't quite figure out this relationship. He wasn't acting like she was a daughter and neither was she acting as this was her father but they were related somehow. Of that I was certain. I decided maybe a niece or a long lost cousin’s daughter.

My query would be answered when she came to the counter to order. After placing her and the kiddie’s orders she commented with a certain amount of disdain that she would probably have to pay for her father-in-law's cheeseburger as well.

That didn't make any sense at all I thought to myself. My own Father-in-Law filled my mind and although he passed away some years ago he still lives on in my husband. All those little things my husband didn't think he needed to learn come out when he talks to our own sons. Seeds of knowledge pop out of his memory bank like popcorn in a hot pan. I also thought how I would never speak of my own Father-in-Law with the same disdain with which she now spoke of hers.   

 She obviously didn't want to be here, of that I am sure. Looking at her watch every few seconds showed me she was uncomfortable and impatient. I can almost imagine the conversation between her and her husband. Her wondering why couldn't he take the kids to see his Dad? Why does she have to do it? He wasn't her dad after all. Then him saying how he has to work and he would go himself but he just can’t get away. I can hear him saying how she only has to stay an hour and he would make it up to her. Her reluctantly giving in with a comment about how yes, he would make it up to her. Lobster and roses swimming behind her eyes.

 “Please lady” I wanted to say “Don’t waste this; he will be gone before you know it. Gather the knowledge now while you can.” I wanted to grab her and make her understand what a rare opportunity this was. To have his undivided attention on her and her children is a special treat. It’s a chance for her children to absorb his knowledge. “He needs this” I wanted to say “He needs to pass on his legacy. Cherish what a gift this is. No matter what he did to offend you.”  Alas, I didn't say any of those things. I sat in silence watching the show.   

She obviously missed all mental pleas on my part and one hour was all she gave him, not a minute more.

He stood by the curb for a long time watching her drive away, willing her to return and give him some more precious time. He had possibly waited for this lunch all week. Planned for it, anticipated it, and prayed it went well. Looking for those brief moments when he can share his wisdom with the younger generation, with his Son’s children, his grandchildren. Meanwhile she dreaded the thought of going to some Podunk town and sitting in a run down bowling alley for a whole hour. Where they probably didn't even have a decent bottle of water. Listening to an old man ramble on about stuff she didn't care about while thinking all the while of what she will demand in exchange. Not knowing how important this is for the old man.

Now she was gone and the haggard bitter old man returned. Those shoulder slumped once more as he got into his old ford and slowly drove away. Shame on you lady, whoever you are. Shame on you for thinking your time is more precious than his, shame on you for not cherishing what little time he has left, and shame on you for not being smart enough to know you're doing it.